


better than all the swans in the world

by pistol_red



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Crack, Curses, Fairy Tales, Humor, M/M, Stupidity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-10
Updated: 2013-04-10
Packaged: 2017-12-08 02:13:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/755801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pistol_red/pseuds/pistol_red
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Carey Price is an unprepared bandit and PK is the prettiest prince in all the land.</p>
            </blockquote>





	better than all the swans in the world

**Author's Note:**

> I don't actually know enough about this team to be writing this pairing but for some insane reason this story just HAD TO COME OUT. Fair warning, it's terrible.

Being a bandit known as Silent Death basically meant one thing: you were silent. And also that you either inflicted some sort of death or you were just so horrible at your job that you killed things through sheer stupidity.

Carey didn’t kill things through sheer stupidity; he only ever killed people on purpose. Or perhaps if he was extremely drunk at the time and no one took away his sword. But that rarely happened, so Carey really doesn’t get why employers keep brining that up as a reason not to hire him.

So, being hired to scale an abandoned tower in the middle of a dense forest to find some “magical swan” whatever that even was (Carey imagined it was a swan with some sort of magical properties) for a fickle lady who may or may not be the troll queen Vagora the Cruel and Smelly and Whimsical. The name dragged if you asked him, Vagora the Smelly covered it just fine.

Carey was not one to get involved, he just does his job and collects the finest booze in the land and meets up with the finest lads in all the land to partake the booze with. Well, not the finest, more like random barnyard scoundrels who try to steal your coins when you’re sleeping, but still, they generally are the ones who give the best blowjobs, Carey's learned through trial and error.

Carey had done his fair share of infiltrations. You go in, you get what you’re looking for, and you get out. Searching an abandoned tower shrouded in ivy (nice easy access, climbing wise) wasn’t going to be in his top one-hundred of the most difficult jobs he’s pulled or anything.

So naturally Carey found himself frozen in confusion when he finally managed to crawl through the one small window in the entire tower and found himself to have accidentally walked into what appeared to be a small and alarmingly fluffy bird serenading a young man, singing in earnest tones about life on the outside and following your dreams regardless of obstacles and the dark hopelessness that engulfs you.

Carey might have found the whole thing vaguely inspiring if not for the fact that this tower was supposed to be abandoned and that he had never warmed up to singing birds ever since one particularly cruel Black-capped chickadee taunted his horse for her fear of heights and gave her an insecurity complex that exists to this day.

The bird broke off after a long note filled with fierce vibrato to turn suddenly in midair and proclaim loudly at Carey, “You, yes you in the black mask, you are not part of the plan. Unless you are a backup dancer that I was not informed was coming, you should leave now, before I pluck your eyes out.”

Carey really didn’t sign up for angry singing birds. He only signed up for a magical swan that _probably_ didn’t sing.

Carey was contemplating about maybe just cutting his losses and diving right back out the window when the other man in the room grabbed his attention by making a high pitched noise that Carey was pretty sure was a sound of happiness if the noises his sister made at his pain were anything to go by.

And like, wow okay, the guy had a bright smile, and he was…beaming at him, which was a little disconcerting, to say the least. Carey doubted his first response to a man dressed in bandit garb that climbed through his window would be to beam at him in excitement.

“Hi!” He said loudly, giving Carey an enthusiastic wave.

“Uh…hi,” well, Carey figured, what else was there to say to that?

The beaming man gestured at the bird before saying brightly, “I’m PK! But, I mean, you probably already know that.”

Carey did not know that. Carey was not quite sure what he had just walked in on. He figured his face said as much but then remembered that he was masked and jerked a hand up to awkwardly pull it off, the fabric of his mask catching for an awkward moment on his nose while PK watched patiently from the other side of the circular room, which, Carey noticed a little late, seemed to be covered in brightly covered tapestries, pies and was definitely a well lived in space.

Carey successfully removed his mask and whoa okay, PK was still smiling at him and now without some of the rough black fabric annoyingly covering parts of his eyes the whole power of that smile was a little overwhelming when directed right at him.

“Hi,” Carey said again, stupidly.

“Don’t worry about him,” PK said, nodding towards the bird that seemed to be sulking at the farthest end of the room from Carey, “He knows who you are and everything. He just composes songs about longing and being yourself for a living and he doesn’t want to lose his job. Larry’s an ass,” he said fondly.

Carey was a little stuck on the bird being named Larry (that was a turtle name, it was odd for a bird to have it) for a second before he said, “Wait, you know who I am?”

PK shifted for a second before saying, “Well, I would know if you told me!”

Right. Okay then. “Carey.”

“Carey,” PK tried out. “Okay I like it! So what do you think about a spring wedding? I really love the spring breeze but I'm not sure about the possible rain."

Carey felt like he was barreling down a dark path at top speed and had no idea where it ended. “….wedding?” was all he made out.

“Yeah man,” PK said, “I like spring because most of the animals could be there. Plus my brother’s got to be my best man and he loves when flowers are blooming everywhere so spring works great.”

All Carey could think to say was, “….I always sort of thought...summer.. for a wedding?”

PK looked at him, considering it for a moment before smiling and saying, “Summer, we can make that work! Let’s get married in summer.”

“….right.” Carey said.

PK kept looking at him expectantly before finally sighing, “Man, are you going to kiss me or not?”

Carey felt like this kept going in weirder, if not more appealing directions, “…kiss you?”

PK rolled his eyes, “Come on man, you have to kiss me if you want to break the curse.”

Oh great, there was a curse. “Curse?” Was all Carey said and PK’s expression suddenly fell and Carey felt bad for being the cause of that even though it wasn’t his fault at all, so.

“You don’t know about the curse?” PK asked, looking down at the ground briefly before collecting himself and saying, “I’m Prince PK, you know that, right?”

Shit. Well, Carey definitely knew _of_ Prince PK if not actually the prince himself, because hey, who hadn’t heard of the cursed prince, hidden away in a tower somewhere in the wilderness, no one knew where he was or how to find him, only that to break the curse, someone had to do something related to love, kissing or marriage or something, Carey was sure. Because it was always about fucking love. Love or cheese.

The Subban family had captured the wizard who had cast the spell, angry at PK for how much he smiled at orphaned children and helped the sick, but even his imprisonment and eventual death did not break the curse, and the Subban’s still searched in vain hope that they’d find the lost prince who was never meant to be locked away in a tower.

And apparently that lost prince was standing in front of him, the dejected look on his face clearing away and the expression of an eternal optimist taking over. “Well then, maybe you could try to remember where this tower is? I can’t leave; it’s all part of the curse, but…”

Carey was more often than not pretty indifferent to the people around him but PK’s eyes lit up a little when he talked about the possibility of Carey helping him, his face taking on a happy and excited look, and Carey thought: screw it. And with several large strides, crossed the room and kissed PK, hard on the mouth.

PK made a small, muffled noise of surprise before lunging into the kiss himself, his hands somehow ending up in Carey’s hair, their bodies aligned with each other and Carey couldn’t help it, his hands cluthing at PK’s back, bit his lip lightly.

PK gasped, his whole body going still, and that’s when Carey realized that he probably shouldn’t go any further. Here, anyway. With the angry bird sulking in the corner and all, looking more and more likely to burst into an angry song.

PK’s eyes looked a little unfocused as he and Carey started at each other for a moment before he broke into a wide smile and said, “That was really awesome, man. We should do that again.”

Carey could feel the beginnings of a smile break across his face, “Yeah, we should. I know a place. With fries. I mean, if you want.”

And well, in the end it hadn’t been the kiss that broke the spell after all, it had been PK and Carey smiling at each other, because curse makers are getting trickier and figured that anyone could kiss and marry anyone, but not everyone could make each other smile. 

All the making out that came along with it was just a great bonus to all the smiling, Carey figured.

 


End file.
